Priorities
What we feel, what we experience, what we want.
Love is three things at once. Some you know in the first weeks, some only with time, and some before you have even met. Ranking them, before you look at anyone, keeps your own compass.
Three layers of love
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You know it in the first weeks
What we feel about them
- Attraction
- Admiration
- Affection
Ranked in the Classic list
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You only know it with time
What we experience with them
- Safety
- Support
- Laughter
- Respect
- Radiance
Ranked in the Classic list
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You can know it before you meet
What we want on paper
- Financial security
- Social standing
- Education
- Street smarts
- Empathy
- Family-oriented
- Healthy lifestyle
Ranked in the Checklist
Two lists, two rankings
The first two layers are the relationship as you live it, so they share one list. The third is what you would tick before a first date, so it has its own. Rank either one, or both.
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- What we feel
- What we experience
Classic
8 priorities · 28 quick choices
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- What we want
Checklist
7 priorities · 21 quick choices
Why rank before you look at anyone
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Avoid the chameleon trap
Rank alone first, and infatuation cannot quietly rewrite what you need.
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Know what comes first
Everyone wants everything. A ranking shows what you would keep if you had to choose.
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Your own definition of fit
Your alignments weigh each quality by your ranking, not by anyone else's.
Read the guide: why rank your priorities first
Where it fits
Your ranking decides what counts most in your alignments. Surveys compare it with everyone's. Trade-offs come next: what you would accept when one of these falls short.